Thursday, October 23, 2014


I've been wanting to make my way back to my blogging lately and last night I read an article that was the kick I needed to sit down and write something.  I am not going to link to the article because it is vile but basically a mom of an adult man with Down syndrome tells the world all about how she wishes she would have aborted him.  She rants on and on about his bad behavior and lists the many ways he has ruined her quest for a "happy" life.

I was a little scared to read it because, if I am honest, one of my fears is dealing with an adult child with major behavioral problems.  I do believe in living in reality though so I cautiously clicked over to the article.  One thing that popped out at me immediately, was that her son was put in a group home from a very young age.  I believe that that was encouraged back then (I think the man is in his forties). Nowadays, babies with Down syndrome receive early intervention from birth.  I wonder how that would have changed her son's life?  I just can't even imagine sending my Bunny away to live with other people.  Can you imagine how that poor baby felt being sent to live away from his parents?  He saw them on the weekends too.  Talk about instability!

At first my heart did go out to the mom a little.  She was in her twenties when she had him.  I don't know about you but my maturity level from my twenties to my thirties was light years.  She said she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  One night her son was crying for hours and had been for days and he couldn't communicate what was wrong and she almost threw him down the stairs.  She checked herself into a mental institution if I remember correctly. 

I get how hard that is.  BUT if her newborn baby was crying for days would she have reacted the same?  To me it sounded like she resented him from birth.  She was mad that he was three and couldn't tell her what was wrong.

I don't think any mom of a special needs child is going to tell you that things are always easy.  I don't think any mom period is going to tell you that!  It was very clear to me that this woman has chosen bitterness though.  Instead of accepting her unexpected reality and finding the joy and beauty in it she has made up this alternate reality where everything would have been better "if only".  That is a ridiculous way to live.  She has no idea if another typical child would have made her happy and let all her dreams come true. 

This women claims to love her son.  It's honestly hard for me to believe.  I understand being mentally unstable and doing and saying things we don't mean but to have an article published for the world to read saying you wish you aborted your son?  To me that just proof that we need to let go of bitterness and the "what ifs" and choose to be happy and find joy in our situation.

While that may be a case of "easier said than done" it seems a whole lot easier than being bitter and resentful for forty some years.

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